Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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