just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
