I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
