Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
