Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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