if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
