Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
