What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
