i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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