the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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