Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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