You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
