you win again, gameday.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
