my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
