I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize