If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
zippers are such a cool invention
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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