So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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