I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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