He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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