Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My balls are so social today.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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