This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
