dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
