And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
