This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
