you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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