Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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