we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
