There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
