Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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