If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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