Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
