READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I party with great urgency now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
