Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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