That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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