Everything about him screamed your future.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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