Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize