i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
