Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
