a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
