i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
did you just send me my own nude
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
