Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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