Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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