I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
