It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he puts the penis in happiness.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
