Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
