If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
