Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
