People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
