if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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