Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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