Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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