I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
