Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have fence marks all over my body
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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