Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
