Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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