I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
