This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
