The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
