Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize