I'm really into asian looking animals
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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