We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
