I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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