Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Let's get the cat blown out
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
