I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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