Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
