It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
