Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
