I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize