She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
