You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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