i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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